No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
