I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
