bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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