Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
