Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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