I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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