make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
