so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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