It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
