I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize