thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
