I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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