why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
