If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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