when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
