Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
