fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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