if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
