dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
