And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
