So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
