the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
