just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
