Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
