He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The adults are the big ones right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
