Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
