clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
