Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I fill condoms, not promises.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
