I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
