Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
