it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
