i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
