Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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