Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
