Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
