ugly people sure do ruin things
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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