I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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