Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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