We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
