I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
