butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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