Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
