he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
