Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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