I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
