Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
