I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Randomize
