EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
