Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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