you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
