Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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