Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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