This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have fence marks all over my body
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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