We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
